Friday, June 18, 2010

it's a temporary lifestyle change

we've thrown away all our hobbies
we've put only one thing in the "Priority List"
it's taken over our TV time, sleep time and lay-around-doing-nothing time
it's eating us (or me) from the inside and doesn't show signs of stopping

sometimes I get fed up with studying - i mean we all do
because there are just those naggy thoughts like
-why study so hard and be as unique as the 3582 others around you?
-is sacrificing everything else worth it?
-are you even doing "this" right?
-study so hard also no results

and then there are other times where i feel like i'm on a high
doing work.
yes, i sound crazy - i hope you have moments like that too (if not check me in to IMH)
but at the end of it, those questions return, leaving me feeling as empty and as useless as a kite

a kite yes. doing nothing but chasing the wind hoping something fruitful comes out of it
call it what you want - rat race, paperchase - there are no good adjectives. TRY as you might.

You know what sucks though? the fact that people think it's easy? Especially those who don't even know what they're talking about. Ok, i'm sorry if you're born with jenius (yes it was intentional) jenes. but hey, before you judge me, stand in my jeans. For example, just yesterday, Dad picked up my promo cert which i was trying to file and i remembered thinking - haha, that was my best result in TJ yet... thank goodness he didn't see MCTs. And the next thing i knew, he was making "tsk" sounds and shaking his head. He asked, "why you so proud of results like that", i said it's pretty good, i mean LOOK at the percentile? and he just turned away and mumbled something like "so easily contented"

ouch?

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