TO KL!

what can i say?

雨过天晴 (:

i'm stuck at home again, but this time, i'm not complaining

because, really, i have so much to be thankful for

being unable to go for a picnic doesn't even come close to spoiling it for me

in less than 24 hours, i'll be on the coach to KL!

am i prepared?

hopefully. i'm praying nothing bad's gonna happen

like a heavy downpour, or food poisoning

packing progress: 80% (undone stuff like my Old Navy's that's in the wash and my toothbrush and contact lenses)

maybe later today, i'll organise my 2010 diary(: that'll be fun. haha, organisers <3

organising my songs now. that. sucks =( it's taking forever..!

Somewhere in the

Middle of Nowhere - Hot Hot Heat.

H. yay.

my next post will probably feat. Damai, Nyamuk, crazy night fun, Camp5 and all that jazz

ciao!

guilt-stricken me

okay. i need to do a guilty rant

remember how i said, "I've had enough (of changing plans and all)"

today, i almost wanted to literally take all that back. like eat my words.

today started out rough, don't feel like sharing though

but the reason behind my guilt rant is that Ms Koh talked to me

Ms Yee told me the day before to speak to her, 1-on-1, directly

the convo was basically like this...

"why do you want to pull out from the trip?"

"(talks about KL trip, clashing,wanting to avoid troubling parents/mr kao/philip with more changes)"

"do you want to go to Indo?"

"of course. it's just that, i had to make a decision. either one or the other."

"oh, because we were trying to make plans for you to come back earlier, then you could go for both. The teachers put in A LOT of effort in this trip. On Friday, the teachers went out to recce immediately. The whole of next day, I spent coming up with the proposed ideas. And gave it to Mrs Loke ASAP. I assure you, though everything was done in three days, it wasn't a slipshod job. If we didn't have the contacts or experience, it would be impossible to do."

"(nods)"

"we had to get the project approved fast because the more it dragged on, the less chance of the whole team being able to make it due to the last-minute notices. Basically, the teachers are very disappointed and upset that a large number of you cannot make it... Of course, at the same time we understand that the right is yours to decide. And when Yunnan go cancelled, we understand you would have gone to make other plans...we just didn't expect 7 people."

"(feels uber guilty. about everything i blogged the day before..)

"so anyway, since you've already made your mind up, all i can say is i hope not going for this trip doesn't mean you break off totally from TOOP. I hope you don't leave TOOP this year thinking all your time was wasted. And I hope you still help the team if you're free.. The group's dynamics have really changed..."

" =( "

"alright. have fun in KL then. bye"

"bye ms koh. thanks"

okay. the convo was way longer. but. this is the gist. lots of silence (GUILTY silence) too. argh.

what can i say?

choices have consequences.

twist flag crimp(:

so many things have happened lately that i can't believe PW only ended a week ago

(:

firstly, i'm thrilled that i'm going to Batu Caves and Camp 5 in more than a week's time

But something else that came up was Ms Koh's approved proposal to go to Indonesia for 4D3N (23rd - 26th Nov)

I sat on the edge of my bed trying to weigh the whole Pro&Con thing

Going to Indonesia:

PRO #1 - i'd see the fruits of my labour through the past 8 months

PRO #2 - get credit for whatever we'd done (portfolio recognition)

CON #1 - it would clash with KL for a day, was it worth the trouble trying to accomodate both trips? transport would be a problem... and seeing that i'd already troubled Philip and Mr Kao so much, should i change my plans? Again? It wouldn't be fair. At all.

CON #2 - missing out on the fun in KL. Seriously, how much could you do in 4 days at Batam?

In the end, i told myself i couldn't let this affect my decision in going KL. All this while, the college leaders have been fickle in deciding the whole TOOP Cambodia/Yunnan/whatever's coming next.

When i heard Yunnan had been cancelled, i don't know why exactly, but it's like this switch inside of me that reads "enthusiasm about TOOP" went off. I wasn't interested in the local project, and i was done moping around in less than a day. The KL trip really helped me pick up. And it WAS confirmed, i WANTED to go. Sorry if this affects the team dynamics in any way. I just don't want to go through all that change-of-plans nonsense. I've had enough. Really.

Earlier that day, I was in the canteen, telling Zhengyu about the whole situation at home. Believe or not, i actually broke down. Well, i wasn't in a good state of mind to begin with, and i just knew he'd understand where i was coming from. Thanks for hearing me out Zhengyu & JAC! (: the rest of the climbers at the bouldering area (B-area) like Alistair, Rah, Calvin, Shakila and Dong were comforting too. For that, and for the bouldering that temporarily relieved my worries, and for the lunch after - i'm grateful!

twist, flag, crimp - TJCCC(c?) never fails to put a smile on my face

can't understand it

:'( again. why?

Bitterness, sweetness, and everything in between

Okay, so promos are over. It was good, i guess. Much better than JCTs, but hey, everyone did better (cos my ranking still fell..)

PW's over too. Just an hour ago i was deleting my emails -- all things PW.

"WR draft5"

"OP FINAL FINAL!"

"website for pics"

"my slides"

"updated WR"

"Question and Answer list"

check check check check - DELETE.

=)

and right before that, i experienced so many things at once, i didn't know how to feel.

Bitterness starts with the letter C. C for cancelled. My TOOP Yunnan trip, that is.

How are you supposed to feel when

1) whatever you've slogged for, for the last 8 months is gone to waste?

2) the one thing you put your heart, your soul, your time, your effort, your energy, your sleep, your passion into is gone?

3) all you wanna do is curse and swear at the "leaders" of the college

lemme just list the hundred and three things i'm disappointed with

i think i sacrificed trainings, time out with my friends, time out with parents, sleep time (getting the blog up, getting the eclairs to arrive on time, selling notebooks.....) and there's so much more.

i mean, when Mrs Loke said, "opportunities are like balls, catch them as they come along." thanks for taking my ball away?

and tell me how'd YOU feel.

admit that this decision you made SUCKS. and its terribly unfair to us and the other TOOP group.

why. why. why.

so what if H1N1's going around..

like jiamin said, every continent in our planet is infected with H1N1, except antarctica. you wanna send us to mars or sth? how can you let other groups of students carry on with overseas trips to US, Tianjin, Vietnam, Korea, India and whatnot. you mean you guarantee their safety there?????

damn it. tears welled u several times when the teachers were trying to explain to us what the f was going on. (the F really shows how pissed i am, because people who know me know how rarely i use the word. if ever.)

immediately though, this thought came into my mind - BATU CAVES.

I sent a quick sms to Mr Kao, who quickly called me back, and told me the necessary things

-get parents' approval, get vaccinations, sign consent form.

WOO.

And yes, i am GOING to batu caves with TJCCC. i will try not to think about yunnan.

after all, you can't miss what you never had. right?

local project my foot.

PHOTOS from octoberrrr

PICS are here.. from CLIMB ON! 2009

and Ad Win's birthday dinner

and my birthday dinner with Andrew and Zhengyu (:

october update!

Well.. between the last time i updated this blog and 1st Nov, these are updates basically summing up

Then on 16th, the last day of exams, we went to watch ANOTHER movie, with the class - PANDORUM. pretty good, but gory too. Dinner then followed with Andrew&Zheng Yu. pics on the next post!

Monday 19th Oct was packed ttm. I had PW in the morning which was superbly unproductive (cos promos just ended mah!) and then i went for lunch with Ray Seen.. We kinda talked about AHS peeps and how she was doing as a CI. haha, i think she's grown more mature. Like she calls her cadets "my kids". hahaha. THEN i rushed to bedok to cut my hair (4 inches! if you didn't notice! hmp. kwan) and rushed out again to meet you VaRY (: Dinner was awesome though i wished we had more time to sit and chill. BUT im looking forward to our birthday celeb.

20-21st oct was FULL of PW. just went to school with a pen and a laptop..sit there and edit our presentation OVER and OVER. pretty slack but it was supposed to be a marking day. Little did we know "marking days" not = holidays for students. STUPID OR WHAT RIGHT??

22nd-23rd was Sports Carnival @ TJ! it was pretty fun and very well organised? The committee planned for games like there was no tomorrow. Lasted over two days and i got burnt while playing all those games (dodge ball, climbing, telematch, etc!)

26th Oct our school had a freeze mob in the morning. See this link! it's something we were working towards, but i think the people who took part just had a kick outta it.

Nothing much till... 31st Oct which was SOOO busy for me. Sometimes i think i have too many commitments >< Thank God though that i don't have a "person" to be committed to. hahah, wont be able to handle a relationship at the moment.

31st Oct early early - woke up and went to Pasir Ris Park and went for CLIMBON 2009! basically you boulder the entire day and collect points for each route completed. I had to leave after five routes though! hmp. i had grade7 theory exam somewhere in Orchard. So i practically rushed all the way to my exam venue after going home to bathe.

After that, i had dinner with my Ad Win, June, Baby Caleb, Sam Yee and my family to celebrate my cousin's bdae. Played with baby again! haha, pics once again on the next post (or fb if you want the whole chunk)..
A long long long day. And the next was longer!

I woke up even earlier to go back down to Pasir Ris park, but this time to JUDGE! woohoo(: we sit and watch Open/Elite climbers climb, and then give them points.

Basically, some drama happened here. Not a big deal really... except the TJ climbers who saw what happened wouldn't stop talking bout it. HAHA.

"brandy comes in large bottles" ...