words that starts with F

This is one of those days

Where exhaustion just gives in to emotion

Where being alone doesn't necessarily mean anything physical

Where all else seems not to matter, not one bit

Where history haunts.

And is victorious.

Am I really?

What ever happened to "I know me best"?

See what doubt does to people?

It eats me

from the inside out.

What I'd give to want what I have

Ha.

Joke.

emceetees

Not going to talk about them?

Hahaa, there's a part of me that's disappointed that I hadn't put in my best for the MCTs. And the other side (whom I'm going to abandon by the time JCTs approach) that reminds me how this was set to kill us and make us buck up for JCTs.

New studying pact: Basically just to stay back after school each day to do homework and do revision. TYS here i come;D

Besides studies, Climbing is still out of the question. I did "touch" and do minimal (really minimal!) bouldering @ CA today while the J1s were shopping for their first pairs of rock shoes. I wore a skirt to prevent myself from getting on the wall(: but yeah, the minimal climbing I did didn't hurt my back(Y) and I'll probably go for Physio on Tues.

For now, I'll stay away from Yishun and train the J1s to boulder.I can't say I'm unhappy because high-walls are so foreign to me now though it means I won't be able to be with my love :(

Social life update!

On Thursday after my last paper, Rachel, Vanessa, Yu Kwan and I met up for some chillax session. A rare treat we indulged in (since the last time we met up was in 2009!) We had lunch @ Vivo Marche which stretched into Tea. Pictures are due to be uploaded by Wed. I PROMISE! haha, we caught up with each other's lives and just took turns to tell the latest;D Christmas plus Birthday gifts were also exchanged, it felt odd but equally heartwarming. HEARTS!

Since it was pouring, I couldn't bring them to the Pinnacle so we just shopped around Vivo. Much of our remaining hours was spent at Daiso! And did i find treasure there!! I'm so making a trip back when I've moved(: Besides that, I bought a scarf and a headband from Forever21. under $12 =p

The day after, we met (AGAIN!) cos we realised we were all free. HAHA,initially the plan was to catch Alice in Wonderland. But we ended up shopping (without Rachel =( boo) Lunch at Manpuku followed by aimless walking. We found ourselves going crazy with more headbands at Montip and I bought two(; for training and casual use luh. Then I proposed that we three visit the Pinnacle since I had to help Dad paint the house. And they came!

Okay, i admit, we did nothing but CAMWHORE. hahahah, 100pictures in 2 hours. Yes, the epitome of camwhoring XD

Friends are the family you choose for yourself and I just wanna say that you girls are fantastic family members ;)

let's do this S

mixed feelings about recent events

1) AHSLC: turned out way better than expected. I went in feeling like I was doing SK/JM/AHS a favour and I would do the bare minimum. BUT HEY! i was so caught up with the camp's activities, the atmosphere and most of all the CAMPERS, that i hardly thought about the notes that lay untouched in my bag(: And as i was saying, i learnt SO much too.. talk about service learning ;)

2) studying for MCTs: ahh, motivated (just one more weeeeek!) yet slightly chill-ish since is just the MCTs. Sherwin's been helping me through Physics, Chem and Math :] yay

HEAL BACK HEAL

I went for the AHSLC briefing this afternoon gaining nothing but an injury.

We were on our way back from shopping for logistics at Sheng Siong and took a cab because we had a ton of things and it was pouring terribly. As we unloaded the things, my slipper (extremely unreliable) decided that i should slip and fall. On my back.

I couldn't stand for almost a minute, but i knew i had to get indoors. Thank God i managed to stand and walk. The pain was still bearable.

As I eased into a chair, I soon realised it wasn't a minor bump. The pain was sharp and piercing. I could not bend forward to a 90' angle.

I'm also thankful for the other camp officials who expressed concern and made me go to see a doctor. Yu Kwan, Soon Keong, Ray Seen, Lee Ying (thanks for the slippers and cash!), Jia-Min, Vanessa Chow, Chun Kit and Ka Hwee.

Apparently the doc said it could be anything from a bad bruise/contusion or a minor crack in my bone. She gave me some pain relief pills and a cream for applying... I pray that it's nothing serious or long-term. I don't want to lose it all.

Not now. Not ever.

NW finals

Flash format. Detail 4. 6 routes. 2 flashes, 1 top, 2 bonuses. Ranked 14th.

There are SOOOO many pictures on fb, it is SCARY.

Just imagine, 182 pictures from Calvin, 136 others from Mr Kao, 200 (not complete) from Lisa. And my overdue Gravical NW/NM/NW finals plus Boulderactive IW/IM/NW/NM pictures have yet to be uploaded!! Screams. Jac, please relieve me of them, credits are all yours if you do them for me ;)

Reflections on my NW climb? I guess I just had this "I wanna flash as many routes as I can and prove to those supporting me that I did not enter the Intermediate Category by chance". We were probably all tired and had zero psych from all that waiting (+- 5 hours), but we still did our customary warm-up (unique to TJCCC!) and watched Details 1 and 2 compete.

As I was reading some of the routes while Detail 2 was climbing, I saw from the corner of my eye, a trail of red-shirted guys were half-running towards the wall. Turning, I spotted Calvin right in front and the other J2 guys. Following them, the (almost) ENTIRE J1 entourage. A smile broke out on my face and i ran over to Calvin(:

I was just SO touched knowing that they had rushed down from school just to watch us compete for a mere 20 minutes. The J1 juniors too, could have gone home and enjoyed an early Friday night, BUT they came and gave their support, cheering like a wild fan club. Each time the emcees mentioned 'TJ', a roar of support just made me beam;D

I did not do as well as I'd have liked too. But the IW did compete in the morning and on the bright side, I attempted every route (unlike at Gravical).

Route 1: unable to reach bonus (too tired cos it was one of the last routes i attempted)

Route 2: 2 attempts to bonus (i just felt like my sequencing wasn't very right, and hesitated a bit too much..

Route 3: Balancey, but I LIKE. 2 attempts - both reaching the final tile, but was unable to STICK IT. sigh, wasted=(

Route 4: flash

Route 5: flash

Route 6: top on 2nd attempt

Videos, like my pictures, will take time. It's more for my own viewing, but feel free to comment!

With that, we end part 1 of our Bouldering season. Now to focus on J1s/NSSCC

Of bruises and abrasions

few more injuries added to my list(:

Approximately 4 new bruises on my knees, my skin's peeling from every finger, some unknown wound on my left wrist and a series of abrasions on my right wrist.

The above were all results of Gravical and today's Boulderactive at Orchard Central organised by NUS.

I sound like a sadist? Maybe, but these injuries are so much more to me. I'll not complain that they hurt or will cause ugly scars, for one sole reason... I'm back ;D I am officially 100% recovered and on full form. The back injury is passe now and I'm no longer trying to catch up with the team (from the hiatus through Nov/Dec/Jan)

Arriving just in time with Jac at 8.30am, we registered and got our goody bags, quickly changing and settling in amidst the 23 Intermediate Women climbers. My arm was marked [IW 18] and in that second i thought. Wow. Intermediate. *beams*

I kept telling myself: no stress, no pressure. It's my FIRST inter comp! Have fun, get all the experience I can(:

Approaching the first wall, the sequence seemed pretty do-able. But i was stumped by the side-of-the-volume sloper. Yes, that is where i scraped my wrist. three times=(

2nd route was crappy holds entirely.... I barely slapped my left hand on the bonus tile, before slipping off.

3rd route was all about lay-backing. I looked at it, and *WHIMPER!* just popped into my mind. haha, well, i took way too long getting towards the bonus tile..

4th route. HAHAHHA. cannot start. XD so morale-boosting aye? if i was given 10 mins, maybe my fantastic brain would have gotten me somewhere higher than the starting hold. HA

5th, final route. FLASH. FLASH. FLASH. FLASH. FLASH. FLASH. oh no, ONSIGHT. heehee. Jac came to me as i was resting, and said, "You can flash this." It just gave me all the encouragement i needed to rid myself of all negative emotions and give it my all for the final route. And yes, i was feeling high after completing it.

THE trip - through my Nikon D40x

tanjung balai

our TOOP trip finally (yes, finally!) came true after an entire year of preparation, disappointment and cancellations.

Pictures from the trip will be uploaded to facebook, but here's a sneak peek(:

I enjoyed the entire process, from breakfast at Macs, to a long ferry ride to Indonesia, the bus ride to the village, teaching and interacting with the children, our photo essay, the visit to the tuition centre and lastly the whole ride back

It was an experience of a lifetime.

Having drove through the village and seeing how they lived, it opened my eyes to a whole new world. The village school was a mere shelter with a blackboard, stacked chairs and running children. Yet, they all looked forward to school, they were punctual, enthusiastic, quick learners and ever so happy. I had so much fun playing with the children, who had nothing on their minds but innocent thoughts.

We also walked around for our project assignment and went into two houses. The villagers lived mainly on fishing and were quite a tight community. Everyone knew every other person and they all lived relatively simplistic lives. But if one said globalisation did not affect them, I'd beg to differ. A bunch of teenagers had with them mobile phones, televisions were present in most homes and we even saw a boy wearing a Steven Gerrard jersey from the English Premier League.

In all, the sights and sounds of a developing country made me realise that Singapore didn't reflect the world. There was so much more going on than what we only knew. I learnt that happiness is not determined by one's riches.

Like Bill Gates once said, "I think everybody should get rich and be famous and do everything he ever dreamed of so he can see that it’s not the answer to happiness."

GRAVICAL

Qualifiers for Gravical 2010 was quite a surprise really. I mean, besides the completely new FLASH format we had to deal with, the routes' difficulty was pretty interesting.

First route shown in the pic (yellow volume) was flash-able, but i kinda followed Jac's sequence (and failed unlike her cos i didn't have that pulling strength). 2nd route, i completed but it wasn't counted cos i jumped and got n the last tile about a split second after the 19minute whistle was blown=( 3rd flashed(unexpectedly), 4th completely didn't try and 6th flashed, 5th was a wasted route too. Videos will be out on FB soon(:

TJCCC girls owned the qualifiers and shocked crowds as 7 TJCians qualified for today's competition. After the results were posted, i was contented being in 11th place. (not qualified for finals...) but upon further inspection, Bernice was 3rd! And she's an intermediate climber hence she couldn't compete in the novice finals! ;D

I was overjoyed and brimming with smiles, I couldn't wait to share the news with everyone... My heart was literally somersaulting...

Staying on to support the Novice Men wasn't the best decision, because i got scolded for it afterward by my parents. Yes, it was an irresponsible decision driven by my pumped heart. That night though, i wondered if Mom was being way too strict. She talked about my piano and school and how Climbing seemed to take precedence over it all.

"What does she want from me?" That thought troubled me as i cried myself to sleep, doubting if she would let me compete for Gravical Finals. My facebook status summarised how i felt about the whole bittersweet day "What's the point of doing well if there's no one to share the joy with."

Thankfully, korkor managed to talk them around(:

And hence, i competed today for my NW Finals. The on-site format was more comforting and the fact that i was amongst my team mates kinda took away some of the pressure. It was fantastic, too, that i had supporters (Mommy, Daddy, Sam Yee and korkor plus Mr Kao, Philip, some J3s and the TJCCC guys(: ) who kept cheering me on.

The routes weren't easy. I barely flashed the first route. 2nd route was wasted with a mere tap on the last tile. It drained a lot of my energy, leaving me completely unable to reach the bonus tiles on routes 3 and 4. Rushing off after my finals, i couldn't stay to hear what Philip had to say about the moves.

Congrats to those who made it to the top 3 - Lynette, Jac and Gwen. You girls are just awesome(: Share the prize! XD Those who didn't make it, remember what Mr Kao said about us already doing our best and getting through to the finals. We've also shown the climbing community in Singapore that TJCCC is not to be trifled with! (Gravical DJ called us WAR MACHINES ;D ) To Jo, Raihan and Lala, the competition was a great experience and with the upcoming boulder comps, I'm sure there will be greater opportunities for ya'll to SHINE!

with love, ash

NW 402 and NW001