NUMBERSEVEN

haha, Ahmed, Calvin and Jac have been commenting about how this must-be list is so one-sided and kinda over-the-top? Like a fantasy list.

So to clear up any confusion or dissatisfaction,

1) the list is purely my opinion - just a non-exhaustive, non-conclusive guide for guys

2) it is one sided because this guide is for guys... If any of you would like to compose one for girls (to enable us to understand you queer martians better) by all means, please do so(:

Today's topic #7: Be True to Yourself

(see, this isn't that bad is it?)

As far as I'm concerned, I know I cannot stand "masks" - identities, actions, personalities and whatnot that are employed to hide one's true colours. If she loves you for you, there's no need to put on a mask. To a certain extent, though, we all do that. In different situations, we act differently.

Take this scenario as an example: you are fun-loving, life-of-the-party, happy-go-lucky guy. When the day comes to meet her parents, you suddenly turn shy, awkwardly polite and boring (relatively). These masks aren't necessarily bad - they form the foundation of your image to a new person lest people are quick to judge and form opinions without first knowing you better.

The masks I'm referring to, are masks employed when it's just you and her. She fell in love with you (hopefully, not your masked-self) so don't be swayed by (other) people's opinion that you should look different or be different.

Moral today? Don't feel inadequate - if she matters most to you, her opinions (not anyone else's) of you should carry you through the relationship.

#8

#8. Be spontaneous

If you're the kind of guy who needs a schedule to go by, coupled with a daily to-do list, grocery lists and a real-time updated contact list... this is for you.

Being in a relationship requires work (no joke) and from time to time, it should come in the form of something...extra-ordinary. Spontaneous surprises, that is.

And before you jump to conclusions that such "surprises" have to be expensive or in any way tangible... think again. Depending on what you're comfortable with, and what she'd be over-the-moon about, (refer to Five Love Languages by Dr Gary Chapman), it can range from a bouquet of flowers (or even a stalk really) to walking her to school without previously arranging to do so (hence. surprise).

These spontaneous acts may seem like a tall order. But really, it can be simple and equally heartfelt. Drop a note into her wallet when she's not looking or offer to let her decide on which movie to watch. Bring her on a date she's never experienced or to some place she's never been... The list goes on.

But the main point is, to add that spark of excitement to your relationship once in a while. Not so because "things are getting mediocre/boring" but more so because you want her to be happy(:

"Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own"

Moral of today's story: Do something. Something she wouldn't suspect. Something... smile-inducing ;D

migraine

from being a major lazyworm:(

anyhow, that's besides the point. I wanted to rant because...

My dad just managed to use the following words on me in a span of... 10 minutes

A) Debtor

B) Bum

C) Potential cancer victim.

Why? Because I exceeded my monthly mobile plan quota for 100 minutes and 600 texts by 70 minutes and 60 texts.

Honestly, I don't remember my counter going up so high...

Secondly, he thinks I'm going to end up a debtor and a bum in life because i spend money before i start earning a cent. (Guess what, we're al doomed. We all spent money on diapers and milk powder the day we were born. And goodness, education too!?)

Thirdly. I'm getting a headache from staring intently at the screen ignoring his,

"Your-daughter-is-getting-out-of-hand", nag to my mom.

Okay, so. If i stop calling/texting, i apologise in advance

#9

And this brings me back to my Ashley's idea of a list of MUST-BEs for clueless guys who think women/ladies/girls/female sex should come with an instruction manual.

#9 is the topic of discussion today.

#9. Be a part - not apart

As a couple, it is essential that the two of you are together (no shit right?). And not just intimately or emotionally as mentioned in #10. The whole idea of this is summed up with that song from Spice Girls-Wannabe

"If you wannabe my lover, you gotta get with my friends". I've always had this idea that once a relationship was underway, the said couple should be sharing. Sharing secrets, laughs, memories, time... And most importantly-sharing lives.

The whole definition of a relationship is based on connection. How then can you expect to remain only a couple when it's convenient? Or when you two have alone-time. What I'm implying is, she should not be a complete stranger to the people or the things you care about. And vice versa.

If she likes shopping - suck it up. Try to have fun while she's picking out a dress for your next date. If your friends mean the world to you, arrange for both parties to meet. Don't be exclusive and all mysterious to others around you. Because the moment your relationship status on FB changes, people don't just look at you as... you. You become him and her.

Just last Friday, when i went back to my alma mater, I was bombarded with boyfriend questions. It started off with, "Where's he?" and then on to "Tell me more!" So basically, if she matters to you, then she belongs to the list of things/people that matter to you. Once you two start being more involved with each others' lives, it builds a stronger foundation for further... development? Capiche?

And as always:

The moral of the story today- 愛屋及烏. If you truly want to be ONE, it involves a lot more than her alone. The Chinese saying is translated roughly to mean, "If you love a house, love the crow that lives there"

freedom?

Remember that comprehension we did on freedom

With that funky "How free would you like to be?" AQ...

Weellllll, i think i experienced it today first-hand.

Lemme narrate.

Yesterday, after the end of econs paper (sigh of relief)

Nelly Yelly and Melly and I were discussing the possibility of watching a movie today

After Chem MCQ - which. Is pretty reasonable? No?

In my opinion-yes. So, we made plans for Step Up 3D - slow, i know

Paper 1 ended at 3, we thought we'd go to Lido for a 4.15 show

And so we made our way there (which is also kinda otw home)

I then proceeded to tell my mom about me going for the movie

(note: my mom's still very much a mother at this time in my life. I mean, she tells me to sleep at 10, or 11 depending on how busy she is to notice that i'm awake. She wants - needs - to know where i am always. She has never let me stay overnight anywhere except home (unless it's a school trip. Oh except this once during prom when i stayed with girlfriends @ Amara) She makes it a point that we all be home before 7pm. Which is standard dinner time. She's a tad overbearing. But, like i said, she's a mom. If you've known me long enough, there's probably a MOMent that i've whined about. Yes, end of note)

So today, i consciously thought

"Why not ASK her if i can go watch a movie and come back in time for dinner?"

(ask not tell. because she wants - needs - to know that her approval mattered in my decision-making process) Hence i did.

(Note: it was a conscious effort to ask her, mind you. As observed from Note1, there could be a possibility of her saying NO. which is the reason why i don't tell her most of the time.)

I sent her a message, telling her i had only one paper remaining, which was on Friday... and if it were ok if went out. For a 100 minute long break, involving moving pictures.

No. You're not done with your prelims.

Ouch, she then proceeded to ignore the rest of my pleas in the form of calls and texts - pity-inducing ones as well as angsty ones.

She'd said I was only to go if i could guarantee As. *inserts ridiculous face*

She threatened me with my housewarming/18th birthday party *inserts "SERIOUSLY??" face*

and then i stopped.

I mean who was I to go against her? Puny insignificant and unable to produce As.

If I'd gone to watch the movie without her knowledge, she wouldn't have known. But i had to tell her. And i got nothing for being honest. What's the upside of integrity again?

Once i got home, i was intent on making her realise that

A) i deserved a break after 15 papers.

B) the party had no relation whatsoever to my grades - hence should not be used as a carrot to dangle over my head

C) it was just a movie - i would have spent that same amount of time blogging right here right now about her inability to reason

D) All of the above and she should apologise

Except she cooked amazing fried rice (Zhengyu can attest to that), and kept mum (pun!) though the night. Till i offered her a cookie at 9pm.

Because i realised

A) I can't be pissed at her forever

B) At least i still have my party

C) It's only 3 months till the end of that letter ever being mentioned again - A

D) All of the above and hence I should be the bigger person

And so I gave up my day's freedom with other things in mind. I don't want to be ruffling feathers of someone whom i rely on over a movie right?

on a roll here(:

okay, another post! to make up for a 3-month hiatussss

a couple of times during our studyfest made me think a lot

about the future

about me

about us

about larger things

about love

about mind-____ing stuff.

that was "blow" by the way. nothing else.

Psychoanalysis was a great part of those thinking moments

Lotsa WHYs and WHATs and plain question marks.

I somehow came up with a list of 10 must-bes for guys as a guide to girlss.

non-exhaustive, non-conclusive. It's a personal stand (not Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus), don't shoot me if she doesn't agree ;D

so. today, i shall start with #10!

#10. Be inclined to think her: WWSD - What would she do?

Take any hypothetical situation, throw in an ultimatum

You'd instinctively choose A over B. But what about her?

How well do you know her thoughts/feelings/priorities/expectations?

Fit yourself into her skin and walk all around in it. The revelations will shock you.

Personal anecdote. I am quite a crybaby. Says Sher. He thinks i cry too easily and too frequently. In my defence, it's my defence. And when it isn't I'm just in touch with my emotions... But for him to know this about me has (in my opinion) helped us tread through rough waters. He's definitely more aware now of how i'm feeling. When i'm silent. When i turn away. When i go "okay, bye".

So, moral of the story today is-know her insides. Knowing that alone will change you through your actions and words. And she'll start going, "you know me best"

are we there yet? no. are we there yet? no. are we there yet? YES. really? no.

that scene from Shrek cracks me up,

I feel liberated after today, knowing all that's left does not involve crazy writing.

And i'm thankful for getting through this round of examinations with such a sense of.

Chi??

Like innerpeace. (ahmed's innershine?)

I didn't quite prepare for prelims as much as I'd hoped

But the queer thing was my lack of pre-hall jitters

(well, ok, i had them last night thinking of failing stats and econs.)

But as i said, the worse for now is over.

I deserve a break, so do you.

You make take a day or two,

to settle for grades foretold, and face the next battle

I shall indulge in a week or so,

before my nerves return to being numb and cold.

hee, i feel poetic. (ha.)

(ha.)

anyways, my well deserved break starts...yesterday

(i watched three movies in a row! hence the jitters)

but what i really need now is to repay my sleep debt.

Go to bed with a smile and worry not bout tomorrow.

Do not worry about tomorrow,

for tomorrow will worry about itself.

(: nightnight kiddos.

PS: climbers - reply me! i needs your answer by soons;D