on hindsight

I spent three and a half hours getting myself to sleep last night.

First, I was panicky, about today's test (more about that later) - Did I get it all encoded? Had I already packed my pencil? Lead? What about lead??
Then, I was excited about J's birthday and all the stuff I'd do after the bloody test. Imagining how I'd spend the nine days of recess week. I have projects, yes. Essays due. More stuff to study for more midterm tests.
Next I got hungry. I realised I hadn't had anything to eat for dinner. But snacks, while I was studying, kept me satiated. So I went to get some milk.
Milk. Reminded me of cows. Cows that moo. Should I count cows to go to sleep? That would be revolutionary. I mean, sheep - wayyyy too mainstream.
After that, I tried NOT thinking about anything. "Think of nothing" "Nothing" "Nothing". The word appeared behind my eyelids. I started analysing phonemes. /naθɪŋ/
I texted whoever who seemed possibly awake.
By that time it was 0230.
I wondered why humans had no on/off switch. That would be a hell lot easier. No?
I would lie in bed, flip a switch.
Set the alarm, perhaps a mechanical hand, that starts me up again.
Then I talked to J, she told me to feel my pulse.
The repetition helps, she said.
I think I wasn't supposed to count though.
I got till 67, and then I searched "music to sleep to" on youtube.

Sometime around 0349 I fell asleep.

On hindsight, I really shouldn't take afternoon naps so close to sleeping time. But I really did need it.

And about my test? I majorly screwed up. I hate that feeling - looking around the exam hall, wondering what is it I missed/messed up cos how can everyone else know this but me??

Answer: I missed a slide. One slide. That cost me 6 marks.

On hindsight, I'm glad I suppressed the temptation to cheat. What's a grade when you know you didn't deserve it.